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I told you that my word for the year is “Happy”. Here’s what that means to me…
Next, See Part Two: Pursuit of Happiness
About Lynn Terry
I'm best known online for my Internet Marketing Blog and my Low Carb Diet blog (where I also talk about my fun travel adventures). But there is SO much more to me than work, food & travel. Which is why we're here. ;-) So let your hair down and let's have some REAL fun! *cheers*31 Responses to “Happiness”
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January 4, 2012
[...] my video on Happiness, I received tons of comments with affirmations and happiness quotes. LOL. The pursuit of happiness [...]
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Hi Lynn,
Love your video! Being HAPPY is awesome!
You are such a cool person Lynn. Not everyone would be comfortable with shooting these videos. (because they are discussing very personal content)
For me smiling comes naturally
but since my stroke event I have made a smile the signature of my recovery. (it all starts with a positive attitude)
It is important for me to have meaningful activity to fill my days (doing stuff that I LOVE) and as I posted before to LIVE, LOVE and LAUGH every day. Of course that includes waking up every morning, having family and friends in my life and enjoying good times (my coffee dates are never dates) LOL.
Through Your blog I am learning to de-clutter (I have a small space) I am meeting new friends like Leo and I am doing more of what I LOVE. As my friend Bill Gibson once pointed out – “Just DO IT- MORE OFTEN!
I hope you LOVE your book enough to get it published this year. looking forward to it! I was talking to a friend the other day who has published his first book. “Unforseen Fury” by Chris McGarry. A fictional piece that started as a screen play and ended up as a novel. (motto – follow the now and stay flexible)
Here is a link: http://www.amazon.com/UNFORESEEN-FURY-Christopher-Joseph-McGarry/dp/146850018X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325604230&sr=8-1
Smiles,
Gary
I’ll check it out, thanks for the link! I’m definitely publishing my book this year.
*cheers*
Happy day to you Lynn,
Thank you for sharing this topic on video and it has allow me to think again what I am going to do this year.
For me in 2012, I have to forgive, forget and smile more and that is my mission. Your video has enlighten me to more forward that my coach Lynn has inspired me
Thank you and have a happy days
James Samy
Singapore
Hummmm…. you always get me thinking! LOL
When we say ‘happy’, do we really mean ‘peaceful’ or ‘content’?
Must we chase after ‘happy’ or do we decide each day just to BE ‘happy’, etc.
I may have posted about this before but just in case – My dad is still alive but retired now. He was educated in his industry with certifications and licenses, etc, but he never attended a university or college. Still, I have learned probably the most valuable ‘happy’ lesson from him in my life and certainly more than from any teacher.
Regardless of how stressed he was with work and meeting contract deadlines, no matter how bad or good he felt that day with his diabetes, no matter how many bills were due…. Still, every time the elevator opened and someone said, ‘Hey Lonnie, how are you doing today?”,. my dad ALWAYS met the person with a huge smile and said ‘Great! Life couldn’t be any better…or “Great, if I was any better I couldn’t stand myself…or “Great, I’ve got more business than I can handle (and then he’d chuckle).
The bottom line is everyone was always glad to run into him. He made them feel happy because he was happy and not grumbling or complaining. Because of that one simple practice every day, no matter who he met, he had a good, positive word for them and countless business and personal friends then and still does in his retirement.
He never studied psychology. He may not have even intentionally known how smart his actions were. But he had the answer down pat and could then (and still can) teach an invaluable lesson on personal and business relations. Subconsciously he was marketing himself and his business. As a result, he was always the first one the person thought of when they needed his service and people loved being around him – on committees, playing golf, for local community functions, dining out, doing business, etc.
If we could all decide each morning that we ARE happy or WILL HAVE a happy day, our outlook all day long will much improve and we’ll make a positive impact on those we touch that day. People want to be around happy people – it makes them happy and makes their work day better.
Now back to your ‘happy’, Lynn. Hats off for deciding to say ‘no’ when you need to and deciding what makes you happier and more fulfilled. We all need to be reminded that it’s OK to say NO! As women, we don’t always have to be the one fixing everything. So here’s to more happiness in 2012 for all of us!
You bring up some good points. I’ve been pondering this “happiness” thing for a couple years now (refer back to the blog post I mentioned).
There is a big difference, in my book, between BEING happy and ACTING happy. Not to say your father wasn’t. But as it relates to me, there is much more to it than putting on a smile, or “choosing to be happy”. Those things I was already doing. But deep down I had things missing in my life. Things that could not be filled by just deciding to smile or act pleasant or expecting a nice day.
Those missing things were very real – love, meaningful friendships, people I could count on, a sense of community, a sense of security in my social circle, a sense of belonging, the feeling of achievement, contributing to something meaningful, etc.
I was not UNhappy per se, simply unfulfilled in too many ways. When I was younger (and much broker lol) I thought that “success” would fix everything. It simply did not. At all. Money made things easier of course, and reduced certain stresses, but it did not buy happiness – as they say. “They” were right.
In addition to not being the solution, success brought it’s own negatives. Lost friendships, disconnects, etc. A few years ago my theme song was “I Got Money Now” by P!nk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S86o5SxINkI It was during a time I was making the most money I ever had, “living my dream”, but the saddest I had ever been in my life.
I smiled. I was the go-to gal. I even inspired other people. There are many smiling faces out there that are missing something – or several somethings. I know, because I was one of them.
I’m over it. I’m filling all the empty spaces.
As someone who constantly fights with bouts of depression, I really agree with you that you can have everything in place and still not be happy. To me happy is more being at peace with myself, doing what I love and enjoying the freedom to say no (it helps so much) The thing that makes me most happy is sitting in the sunshine (I was a plant in another life, lol) I hope you have a very HAPPY New Year
I love sitting in the sunshine too.
I especially love just watching the sun rise and the sun set. Those are some of my favorite moments!
I remember that blog post well and I’m glad that you’re happier already.
I’m really curious about what you end up doing in 2012.
I think I’m on the same mission as you are at the moment, with the difference that my financial, professional and other things really need fixing. Despite that, I’ve decided to pursue things that are satisfying and exciting, not necessarily profitable or “useful” in the short run.
I can’t live only for the sake of fulfilling my obligations in life.
I actually had a similar experience during the weekend. I read a book by Barbara Fredrickson and did a “positivity ratio” test found in the book. My results were really poor.
The book is *probably* better than the one you read – and if you or someone else wants to take the test, you can do that online at positivityratio.com
“I can’t live only for the sake of fulfilling my obligations in life.”
Ditto!
Thanks for the book title & link. Will check that out.
Hi Lynn,
Thanks for the inspiring video. My “Happy” goals can be summed up in one word – “Healthy.” My goals are focusing around things that move my entire being to that state – physical, financial, and spiritual. So, Detailed goals include an honest look at nutrition and making improvements, ramping up the exercise, etc.
The first step in achieving any goal is to identify, analyze and put a plan of action into effect.
When the hard questions are asked and answered honestly, great change and progress can be made. I believe it is possible for all of us to achieve our “happy.”
I believe that too.
I am on a healthy mission myself. I’ve already dropped 25 pounds, and now I’m working on toning – and making exercise a regular routine in my life. I’m really enjoying it so far! Here’s to a healthy year 
*cheers*
As a naturally “glass is half empty” person, I’ve actually had to re-evaluate things that are important since I started having health issues 3-4 years ago.
While in some aspects, being restricted by health issues has cost me a lot (financially, etc.) and has caused plenty of “woe is me, the glass is EMPTY” days…….I’m slowly but surely (with lots of prayer to the Big Guy upstairs)……learning to count my blessings and realize that things could always be worse for me.
I do have a roof over my head and food in my belly.
My health is slowly but surely improving and since I’ve been forced to focus on getting better physically, it has caused me to cull most if not all of those one-sided “friendships”. When the chips have been down for me…..none of these people have been there for me.
I now know who my real friends are and it’s too bad it took 38 years to finally say enough is enough. Health issues will force these types of re-evaluations of what true happiness, joy, peace, contentment or what have you is in your life.
A lot of things that I used to think were important are no longer important at all.
No longer do I really care what others think or say about MY life. Their vote doesn’t count because when it was all said and done…….I could really only count on myself (and God) and maybe a very small select few in my life.
Maybe “happiness” is really a place where a person eventually finds themselves when they decide to stop and just be. No matter the circumstances. Just be thankful for having another day. Stop chasing the IDEA of happiness and just be grateful for today and the blessings (whether big or small) that they do have in their life.
Carpe diem has always been a favorite expression of mine, but yet I never really did it myself. It just sounded great….lol
I’m all about gratitude, in the moment. It’s one of the reasons I try to catch every sunrise and every sunset – every single day. It’s my “moment of gratitude” for the day and everything in it.
Not pursuing my definition of Happy is not an option at this point though. I’ve gone too long just “being” as is and accepting the “as is”. No more. I’m off to create extraordinary experiences!
Well, it is the approach that I’ve had to take because I have been physically unable to do anything more proactive. I haven’t had the health or resources to go out and make certain things happen for myself. I have basically been stuck at home for 3.5 years unable to drive or anything.
Normally, I would combine mindset with action, but I have had to make do with mindset, otherwise my circumstances would have swallowed me whole. The despair over not having the life that I want and not being able to make it happen (at least for now) has been extremely difficult to deal with for me.
So, all I have left is to count the blessings that I do have.
Each of us has our own circumstances and our own journey. I realize there is no one size fits all in this department.
That is so true, L.M. I have been at places in my life where I could not take the action I am taking now. The two years I was taking care of my grandmother around the clock, or the years I was taking care of my son while he was not well. Phases of extreme grief, etc. I can at least relate to what you are going through.
During those times, I’ve been very grateful for the internet – and the opportunity to contribute and connect with like minded people, even when I couldn’t be away from home. From parenting forums to online Pinochle tournaments, I at least still maintained some connection and social enjoyment. How much more empty would life be without this super cool technology!
Hey Lynn, I totally relate to where you have been and where you want to get to.
Most recently what I have discovered is my struggle and suffering happens when I’m resistant to what is. Getting into the consciousness of accepting what ever it is I’m feeling or whatever the situation is in the moment is the secret to being happy.
This is waaaaay easier said than done
But what I know for sure is when I can be without any resistance to what I’m feeling or any situation I get to a place internally of total contentment and very quickly the not so happy external situation or thought disappears. It’s like magic.
For me that’s happy when I can do it.
So my question is why is it so hard to give up the struggle in exchange for what I call the Buddha mind?
Could it be because I like running the show? My answer to myself is: get over it!
I know that’s another problem that I talk to myself and answer myself.
Oh well…
Suzy
LOL I talk to myself too, Suzy
I thought that was normal! haha
I’m more one to embrace how I feel, good or bad, full on. If it’s a good feeling, I ride it to the max. If it’s not, and I can do something about it, I get busy on that.
Sometimes I’m slower about taking that action than others. Sometimes I *need* to just feel what I feel – for a spell. Grief for example. It has it’s place, and needs to be experienced in a natural way as a means of healing.
Good thoughts!
Hey Lynn, I think happiness, for most of us, is something that has to be learned and constantly worked on. We have to choose to be happy. It’s about being able to have any emotion – including sadness, anger, fear or hurt and still be able to hold a state of peace. That, I think, takes lots of practice. I’m really trying to master, you might say, the art of being happy … sometimes it works for me and other times, I take a few steps backward. I’m getting better at “happy” all the time. Sandy
Hi Sandy!
Just being aware of your feelings, responses, and the circumstances involved… is a huge step in the right direction in my book. Many people just accept life as-is without question, and without being proactive about creating the life they want – or making positive change. Not me!
Wow Lynn. You really made me think here – I think I’ve been in such deep denial for so long I really should change my name to Cleopatra!
I’ve done so much of that one sided thing in the past too – I really do try to live with an abundance mentality (Stephen Covey) but if I’m not mindful that can lead to one sided relationships, either personally or professionally so saying no to those one sided relationships is definitely a goal for me this year.
Being mindful of how I ‘spend’ my time is what I am going to focus on this year. Now that my daughter is off at college and I have the ability to really be anywhere I want to, anytime I want to, I plan to enjoy that to the max.
I hope you will also reach out and let some people help you this year! You do so much for others but I’ll bet you don’t often ask for much from anyone in return. I’ll go even further and bet that a lot of those folks would LOVE the opportunity to do something to help you back!
I believe that we attract those relationships, simply by being strong and giving. I know that is the case in my own life. We don’t tend to attract equally strong personalities, but rather people who need what we are putting out there. It’s interesting how THAT whole thing works, lol…
I actually DO ask for help, and look to others. But read paragraph above (lol). My experience has been a tough one. Finding a coach or mentor for myself for example – even when I hand pick them and offer to pay their rates, I have been turned down and turned away on multiple occasions. “I can’t coach YOU” is a common response, lol. ??? I went through about a year trying to find a coach and a mastermind group on a higher level – and finally had to just shelve that one for a later time.
But yes, I will continue to reach out and take all the help I can get. When I need something, I know who to go to for whatever that is, and wouldn’t hesitate to ask.
Love hearing everyone’s input here. Lynn, ‘unfulfilled’ I totally understand. One of my big mental woes is that I’m too often too serious, even though I have a great sense of humor and joke around all the time. But my mind works analytically (I’m a true Libra) so sometimes I’m my worst enemy.
I’m often over evaluating my status, success, health, security, career, business ideas, business efforts, my kids’ situation, Ken’s career or whatever I’m thinking about at the time. Ken says I worry too much, but I’m actually analyzing – looking at it from all sides – the pros and the cons.
But I find that if I look for the happiness ‘within me’ (not pretending to be happy – that’s sometime different I think)…but looking for whatever happiness level I DO have at that moment concerning whatever the issue is. Then I try to dwell on that degree of happiness and if I concentrate on that, the happiness seems to ‘float to the top better’ and then is more apparent to others as well as myself. Does that make sense?
I think Suzie touched on what I’m talking about. If I’m too concerned about what’s ‘missing’, then I miss out on the happiness that IS there. I actually rob myself. Remember, this is just looking inside MY mind. We each have to work at life in the way that works best for us, and it seems you are right on track for your situation. I do know when I look for the happiness and work on keeping that side of myself ‘out there’ for others to see, that more happiness seems to appear as a result. (Bring it on baby, the more the merrier! LOL)
I can’t wait to hear what we ponder tomorrow. Each of your videos is like a little gem, glistening in the morning light when I wake up my laptop.
Thank you Sherie! Yes, that makes sense. I think it’s great to be in tune with our thoughts and feelings, and to always have gratitude toward our positives. Knowing what they are helps me to improve on them, expand them, or create more of them.
Hey Lynn,
Did you re-take the test to see where you are now? I think that would be interesting
My theme for this year is JOY! I can definitely relate to wanting to do more of what makes you happy. Last year I decided to make a few significant changes and I feel great. I’m a fan of Leo of ZenHabits as well, so I think he inspired some of these changes
He is incredibly inspirational! I love his style. So non-judgmental and liberating!
I haven’t retaken the test this year, but I did re-take it at one point last year. I shared the results here: http://www.clicknewz.com/2689/happy-revisited/
Happiness hmm that is a biggie! I for a long time (and still do to a degree) believe it IS about your attitude to things and that you can ‘be’ happy if you tell yourself so, however, as I have got older I do believe as you said acting and truly being really does depend on other factors.
I do believe though that it is usually our expectations of things-love, friendships, success that make us feel unhappy, disappointed. We mostly seem to enter things with expectations (OUR) expectations and although we do not always realise we had expectations we do underneath end up feeling disappointment, thus feelings of unhappiness because we expected certain results.
I believe society itself can be to blame for some, if not most of this. It is built into us from a early age that happiness comes from success, money, getting married having the 2.4 kids, the white picket fence, the perfect partner, the perfect circle of friends. With all that being what is ‘expected’ to be fullfilled and ‘happy’ when we have raced to get it we are mostly left with unhappiness and wondering what all the fuss was about and believing others have found it and we just need to know there secret! When really I think we all feel the same in some way or another.
But really maybe happiness was just infront of us the whole time? be ourselves and do what makes us happy. I with you Lynn that it is def about doing what you want for yourself not trying to please others while making sure we ‘fit’ into the ‘normal’ expectations of life.
I have found the happiest people to be those who don’t conform to what happiness is ‘mean’t’ to be, don’t expect too much of others and live for themselves and any family they created.
Just my thoughts
And they were great thoughts, Melanie!!
Expectations is a great topic. People can really let you down. That’s life. What I am working on are the things that are within my control – and within my reach. Things that make ME happy.
We all need love, friendships, a sense of belonging, social and community connectedness – which (unfortunately lol) relies on other people. Those are probably the hardest places in your life to achieve total happiness, for that reason. But I refuse to give in, or accept what I’ve experienced in the past, and am still pursuing those things – and those mutually enjoyable relationships.
Hi Lynn,
Enjoyed watching the video and can’t wait to see you again at NAMS in a few short weeks.
I went back and reread the blog post you mentioned in the video and noticed that I struggle balancing those 5 areas as well. If I focus on work, I do well financially and I get a lot of satisfaction from what I do, but at the same time, I end up not exercising much and have days where I struggle to get enough quality time with my family. My biggest challenge is balance. It’s so easy to put on those blinders and focus on just one area, neglecting everything else. I guess my big world for 2012 will be “balance”.
What makes me happy is seeing the smile in my daughter’s eyes when we do something fun together, hearing from a reader, customer or student that I’ve helped them solve a problem and challenging myself to do something and then getting it done.
Thanks for the reminder to focus more on what makes me happy
Susanne
Hi Susanne! I am really looking forward to NAMS in February, and having the opportunity to just hang out and spend time with the people I enjoy. It will be the first time I’m not speaking there, but it was a decision in line with my Happy mission.
Balance is tough, I get that. I have been really working on that the last few months myself – making it a point to take “me breaks” and it is making such a positive difference. I can’t wait till it warms up again so Slim and I can take our fun daily walks together!!
I just put up part two, the Pursuit of Happiness
I look forward to hearing your thoughts!