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Share via E-mailI’m usually completely oblivious to men and their intentions, very one-track minded and focused on whatever I happen to be doing at any given moment, and a terrible flirt. LOL.
I’m aiming to change that. 
In fact, I’m actively practicing my flirt! Just trying it on, so to speak. I don’t have any intentions of following through at the moment, but rather making myself more aware of “potential possibilities” and considering other vibes I might want to give off besides “uninterested”… and “ice cold”. 
Cute idea!! Your videos always start my day with a smile! ‘Flirt’ is such a sweet, old-fashioned term. We don’t hear it very much anymore. In fact, maybe our lives are so busy now that we’ve forgotten to flirt, or worse, forgotten HOW to flirt! LOL
I think people stop flirting once they get married. But it’s important to flirt with your spouse, especially if you’ve been married for a long time. My parents will celebrate their 65th anniversary this year! (yes, you read that right!) They still flirt with each other – a little joke and a grin between them. But what I notice afterwards is that their eyes are ‘smiling’, there’s a twinkle there. It’s so cute to watch, and a good lesson for younger generations!
So thinking more on this – flirting is initially used attract attention, but it’s also used to maintain that feeling through the years. Hum, maybe that’s one of my parents’ secrets! Wonder what the others are…
Do I dare ask????
Keep us posted. Can’t wait to hear your flirt-stats!
Hmmm… what a FUN project! LOL, you always start my day with a smile.
I have been married 34 years this year and we lived together a couple years before that… so I might be a bit rusty but I think Sherie captured it when she mentioned the “eyes.” I think the eyes say it all and I can get my husband to react, if only to say “WHAT?!?” when I do it still. LOL
I have to share this quick story… a number of years ago I was walking very briskly through a major airport on the way to make connections on the way home from teaching cross country… I was very focused, yet I looked up just in time to catch eyes with a very handsome man who happened to look at me at the very same time as he did the same thing going in the opposite direction…. I gave him one of my “eye smiles” along with a Mona Lisa smile… and he stopped DEAD in his tracks even though I didn’t. Hey, I was married, traveling home from a business trip and I was just unconsciously flirting. I didn’t even think about to tell the truth… it all happened so fast I just reacted.
Well imagine my surprise when I boarded the plane and met up with others I knew that had been attending the conference. They mentioned the man that stopped in my wake and asked if I realized who he was…? No, I had no idea. Seems he is/was an actor of some note that was never really a star but in lots of movies. Go figure. I am not a movie-goer, preferring to wait until they come out on DVD to this day! LOL, from that day on every time I saw the handsome gentleman on TV, whether in a movie or late night talk show, I always got that same Mona Lisa smile on my face! LOL, I wonder if my husband ever noticed? heh heh!
Hey Lynn,
So, just what is the “flirt”? Nothing?
Why? Because according to my dictionary “flirting” is the noun.
Flirting: “Playful behaviour intended to arouse sexual interest.”
and “flirt” is the verb.
Flirt: “Talk or behave amorously, without serious intentions” or “Behave carelessly or indifferently”
and the adjective Amorously: “Inclined toward or displaying love” or “Expressive of or exciting sexual love or romance”
Wow! this could prove to be one interesting marketing test.
Do you have a “call to action” in mind? lol
Would this a LIMITED TIME offer?
would you offer a “full refund guarantee”?
Love the idea of flirting for us old married fogies. The mind really does not age, I guess. We are always teenagers at heart. I agree, the eyes are key in any meaningful relationship.
I hope you are having an AWESOME “look into my eyes” day!
smiles,
p.s. I met the most beautiful “online hooker” the other day.
visualization? lol
She was a very beautiful 51 year old rug hooking grand mother who belongs to an online rug hooking group.
different visualization?
Could that be referred to as a verbal flirting?
LOL – very amusing!
What great stories!
Hmm. I’m on the right track already, then! My first step was to be more conscious of my environment (ie actually look around, lol). Making intentional eye contact was #2. I tend to keep to myself, so this takes a little practice! I tried holding the gaze a second or two before looking away with a smile.
This is as far as I’ve gotten, and it’s taking a lot of practice
but it’s been fun at least!
Yesterday I made it a point to start a light conversation with my waiter while at lunch, but he turned out to be entirely too young for me – to even flirt with. Blech!
Hi Lynn,
I’ve just started following you on twitter. I like what you’re doing. I’m also serious about my career and personal goals. I am 50 years old and I don’t know if I would “gag” when a 20 something year old would “flirt” with me at a club! LMAO
Whenever you decide that you have mastered the art of flirting, and want to look for a conversion, drop me a line. I’m sure the ROI would be greater than you think. So, if you think 50 is an age still in your range, think about it.
Just so you know, “flirting” isn’t always what attracts “every” guy. Some of us are attracted to the natural flow and beauty of a woman as she just lives her life. Those “little” things that a guy remembers throughout the day like her perfume, or the way she combs her hair or just her mannerisms. Those are the things that can drive a guy crazy all day and be anxious to get home and see her!That’s what leads to the deep down love of soulmates. The flirting is just a bonus that gets you hot under the collar.
Keep up the good work. Maybe we can chat sometime over coffee? lol
Joe
Yes, mannerisms are good – once a guy even notices you exist.
I’m always up for a coffee!
Are you local?
I wish I was local, but from what you describe about your town, I don’t know if I’d want to stay local! I’m a Yankee with a soft spot for Southern Bells. A little advice….the “right” guy will notice you and “love the way you flick your hair”. Don’t be forceful in putting yourself out there. You can be aggressive and forward in what you want, but don’t try to jam yourself and your personality down a guys throat. It’s not a pretty sight when his gag reflux kicks in LOL. Now this is just me, so I can’t speak for other guys, but I wouldn’t mind a woman being the aggressor and asking me out for a date because I would take that as more of a way of her letting me know she was attracted to me. But I’m not into the whole “control” idea in a relationship. I like a woman who is in touch with her feminine side and isn’t afraid to show her softness. That doesn’t mean that she is weak and a push over. She just wants to be treated as a real woman. Well, enough of my ranting,…hope it can be useful to you. .
LOL I would never be that forward or aggressive.
I’m quite tame.
The whole idea is simply to be more aware of my surroundings, instead of completely oblivious, and taking notice of options. A bit of eye contact and a quick smile are about the extent of my “flirting practice” at the moment. LOL…
p.s. It’s less about the right guy noticing me, and more about me noticing that he noticed me.
Just making an effort to be more open to the possibilities out there!
Well, if you are just curious as to when the right guy shows an interest, don’t worry. If he’s a real man, he will def make you aware that he’s interested. But I think what you are doing is fine. If you want to see what kind of guys are out there you’re gonna have to be more active out in the world and start socializing more with “men” and not boys at the club. lol
I’m not saying you had anything to do with his intro to you, I’m just saying, “did you scope out the rest of the club to see if someone else was there that YOU would have been interested in?
Sometimes us guys are mis-focused and you ladies do have to put yourselves in our sights. Men don’t want what they can’t see. We are visual creatures. Only the stalkers creep around lurking for women. The rest of us guys just have a different agenda and don’t always multitask well LOL
Yeah, I’m not real interested in meeting a guy at a club, lol.
If you meet a guy at a club, he’s more than likely gonna be the type of guy who will continue to go to clubs even after you meet. That’s why I don’t go to clubs looking to meet someone for a relationship. I seldom go to clubs because I found them to be more of a waste of my time then actually having fun.. But sometimes I like to go for a beer or two and let my hair down too. It was Great chatting, but I have to get back to work! Thanks for the talk! Take care, Joe ;o)
Yup Yup – I was only there for my girl friends 40th birthday celebration
Oh boy, Gary – let’s don’t define it TOO literally – LOL!
Hey Lynn,
Sorry, couldn’t help it.
– LOL!
You GO girl! Get out there and flirt, flirt, flirt. (if you have to)
Can’t wait to see what you get for results. LOL
Just remember that it is a different world out there than it was even ten or twenty years ago. Keep your wits about you and stay safe. After all… weirdos are everywhere!
I hope you are having an AWESOME “catch my flirting” day!
smiles,
Maybe I like weirdos.
LOL just kidding! haha
I’m still trying to figure out what it takes to get a man’s attention around here – for something other than “better search engine rankings” – haha. I have no intentions of following through on anything at all just yet… just hoping to get a smile or two back out of the deal to start!
You DO realize THAT is when you WILL get a reaction and find the perfect (if there is such a thing) man??? Just like parents that got pregnant when they gave up trying… it’s when the FUN starts that you most often get results!
Just have fun, you never know what MIGHT result!
I never really thought about this as a topic of discussion before, or really ever examined my thoughts on the subject. Now that I’m doing that I’m coming up with surprising thoughts/feelings I didn’t know I had. These are going to be quite strange to most people.. so I’m warning you guys up front.
First, if someone tries to flirt with me, I instantly tense up inside and I have to fight with myself not to lash out at the person because it is insulting to me. It’s degrading. I’ll try to explain, but keep in mind these are just my personal feelings and opinions here. Flirting is generally thought of as a way to get someone’s attention for the purpose (providing it goes that far) of dating that person, etc.. Dating equals Romantic Relationship, in my book. Romance generally involves sex (at least at some point, likely in the future). So to me, flirting is telling someone you find them sexually attractive. If it’s the first time I’ve met a person, all they probably know about me is what they see, so if they are flirting that means they are finding something about my personal appearance to be sexually attractive.
Here’s the rub… I don’t want someone to be attracted to me because of my looks, or what I drive, etc.. I want someone to be attracted to me because of my brain, my mind, my way of thinking, my way of seeing the world, and/or the things I do to make the world a better place. I want them to be attracted to me because of who I am, not just because they like the way I look or what I drive as they are passing me on the street. That’s so pointless to me. And, for the record, any guy that whistled at me would get daggers from my eyes immediately. I think that’s crude and rude. Just my opinion.
Second, if someone sees me in a social or business setting and wants to get my attention, they need to just say “hey, I like what you said about xyz” or “I like what you are doing in xyz area/business/whatever” and then just say “would you have lunch with me and talk with me about that?” I’d say yes in a heartbeat, no matter who it was or what they looked like because they’d told me they were interested in my brain, not my body or anything superficial.
I’m very careful about who I associate with and even if I were looking for a romantic relationship, I would never pick someone I saw at random just because I liked they way they looked, etc.. I would start with something I’m interested in, get to know other people involved in that, and just be generally social with everyone. If I found someone specific within in that group that I wanted to get to know better, I would start by asking them questions to get to know them, and/or ask them to lunch just like I mentioned above. I can’t see myself ever winking across a room at anyone unless we were already IN a relationship. My .02.
P.S. On the flip side, if it’s just a smile from someone (no significant eye contact or lingering looks) I do instantly smile back because I’d never even think the person was flirting, just smiling in a friendly way.
I can totally relate to much of what you said, Chris. I do NOT like being whistled at, and really meant that tongue in cheek.
I also don’t like being called honey, sweetie or baby – and usually reply with “I have a name!” LOL.
That said, most of my interaction with the human race is all about picking my brain – period, that’s it. I’m trying to figure out what it takes to actually get asked out on a real date.
I’m exhausted with working even when I’m trying to have leisure time, and really interested in finding friends that I can just have FUN with.
Also, I have a semi-interest at the moment. I’m realizing just how clueless I was with his clues, and how bad I did at letting any of my interest show at all. I can be a serious combination of oblivious and conservative!
So… it’s all just practice at the moment. Trying to be more open, more aware, more tuned in… and more forward <- which is the hardest part of all for me, lol.
LOL @ “I have a name”. I love that!
I hadn’t realized most of your interactions with people were strictly about picking your brain. I guess that would change things quite a bit. Living in the middle of nowhere TN doesn’t help either, I’m sure.
Let’s see… f-u-n… I seem to recall that word but let me look it up to be sure. LOL. If it’s any consolation, I don’t have a social life either because I am entirely business-focused. But I’m not looking for a relationship so I’m happy as things are.
Were I a guy, I would think that just your beautiful smile, directly at me, would get my attention. I know it’s hard to keep eye contact afterward though, and I don’t think that’s especially necessary. In (non- business type) settings where there are guys around I would suggest paying as little attention as possible to your iphone or whatever. When I see people consumed with their phones I can’t help but think they are texting their significant other, especially if they have a semi-happy face. Sitting at lunch and not doing anything but enjoying the meal leaves the door a little more “open” for a guy to smile in your direction or say hello. Oh, and don’t forget about “the bump” should that come up
(The “bump” was a new one on me, too, so thanks for enlightening me on that… lol.)
Maybe you just need a new t-shirt that says something like… “I’m a geeky girl, so please tweet me to flirt.”
No my location doesn’t help at all! In fact, I got on a dating site at one point and when I do a search… it pretty much says “sorry lady, we’re defaulting to a state wide search!” :-/ lol.
We’ll see how the smile thing works. Like I said, I’m usually oblivious to my surroundings (and any potential options) and very one-track minded. So just noticing people and smiling at them is quite a project for me!
And OMG I totally love the T-Shirt idea!!
And… on the total flip side… with Mr 16, I was totally open and held nothing back. It just came easy with him, for a change. And somehow I still ended up being totally misunderstood. Rah!
I’ll figure this stuff out, yet.
Chris & Lynn – this is such a hoot! To be honest it’s been a while since I had a good flirt – snigger – but I’ll take anything I can get. I’ve no shame!! LOL
PS. Chris – love the T Shirt idea too!
Ahhh you should join me in the Flirt Challenge, Caroline!
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LOL Mark!